It all started last week when I received a call from a very sweet, local shadchan. "Primum" she said, "have I got a girl for you! She has all of your three required B's." (Perhaps I'll explain those in a future post.) She continued, "Why don't you look into her and get back to me."
She proceeded to send me one of these standard, generic resumes. Baruch Hashem, the girl went to all of the right day-camps and an appropriate elementary school. Her brothers-in-law all seemed appropriately aged and to originate in nice cities. And I was pleased to see that her father was in klei kodesh. Unfortunately, as is typical, I knew nothing about the young lady in question.
Instead of calling the listed references, I decided to begin with a quick Facebook search to see whether we had any friends in common. (Yes, I have Facebook. Chatasi, Avisi, Pashati. Can we get back to the story now?) Interestingly enough, she had a Facebook profile. Based on the little that the shadchan had told me about her ("quite yeshivish"), that was surprising, although I'm hardly one to judge in that department. For the record, in other departments, I'm quite enthusiastic about judging. Anyway, as I said, I was mildly surprised by her having a Facebook profile. However, I was stunned by the fact that her Facebook picture was of her in a miniskirt.
My first thought was to be dan l'kaf zechus. Perhaps this was a different girl with the same incredibly unique name. Maybe the girl happens to have shockingly long ankles and the skirt was really below the knee. Determined to get to the bottom of this mystery, I glanced through our mutual friends, and seeing a friend, I sent him an e-mail questioning whether it was the same girl I was set up with and whether it was possible that we weren't on the same page religiously...oh, and by the way, would you say that her ankles are average length for her size?
I received a response that it was indeed the same girl, and that while she was quite nice and came from a frum family, she was emphatically no longer religious. In fact, her current boyfriend isn't Jewish.
Feeling that I had done my research, I e-mailed the shadchan to thank her for the suggestion and explained that I thought the young lady in question was perhaps not of an equivalent level of observance.
The response: "I think you're wrong. But, your call."
This leads me to the following possible conclusions:
1) This girl changed her level of religiosity significantly and incredibly recently.
2) This girl's parents sent the shadchan her resume and are clueless about their daughter's present situation.
3) Shadchanim set up girls that they know nothing about with guys that they know nothing about and don't bother doing the least bit of research.
I think that all of these possibilities are somewhat depressing, and am even more determined to no longer go out with anyone suggested by someone who doesn't know both me and the girl well. Also, from here on out, ankle length will be a mandatory question...right after what 3rd grade summer camp did she attend.
This could be a regular feature. I certainly have enough material for it. It seems like not a week goes by without another great shadchan story. And, if readers have any stories to share, please send them in.