My roommates and I run a very hospitable apartment. Rarely does a week go by during which one of us doesn't host a guest. Often bochrim from the local yeshiva spend Shabbos with us in order to be closer to the Jewish community. One such individual arrived early last week. According to one of my roommates, henceforth to be referred to as The Nicest Guy in the World (NGW) which he truly is, the yeshiva dormitories were too loud for him to sleep well so he needed a place to crash while he found other living arrangements. We were under the impression that this would be a night or two, three at the most. It's now been a week. That's right, the Three Musketeers' apartment now has its very own squatter.
NGW, in whose room he is staying, is far too nice to ever say anything. In fact, he's far too nice to even notice the imposition. He laughingly told me about how when he crept into his own room late one night he was admonished by the squatter for causing the floor to vibrate excessively. Just so you know, NGW is a marathoner with a body fat content of about 4%. A cricket having a heart attack would vibrate the floor more than NGW would if he was Irish step dancing (which he has been known to do).
Our squatter is not an unpleasant fellow. And hosting him is not a terrific imposition. However, hosting implies a predetermined, usually short, stay, and in this case it would appear we have a tenant. A tenant who never takes out the garbage, replaces the paper towels, or pays any of the rent. My other roommate, Tall Dark & Handsome (TDH), and I have discussed the scenario and we both find it somewhat amusing and somewhat irritating. We're trying to decide whether to accept this as yissurim (Berachos 5a) and an opportunity to work on our hachnasat orchim, or whether to have a talk with the squatter.
What would you do?
I don't (thankfully) posses the talent of mind reading and as a result, don't assume others do either. I suggest the three roommates sit down and talk and decide what you would all like to do. Communication, in any relationship, is key.
ReplyDeleteIf afterward, the three of you decide that this "imposition" albeit pleasant, needs to be addressed, you (all) should speak to the "squatter" and ask him straight out, how long he is planning on staying etc. If its going to take a few more weeks for him to find an apartment, etc, then he should partake in the responsibilities of being a roommate (i.e. cleaning the bathroom, chores, buying toilet paper and splitting rent, electricity, gas and water).
p.s. I do not think that there is a contradiction between "talking to the squatter" and hachnasat orchim.
1. Discuss with your roommates the situation and get a clear understanding of everyone's opinion on the matter, ie: is letting him stay even an option (assuming he is willing to take part in paying rent, chores and all)?
ReplyDelete2. Nominate a spokesman for the apartment. If TDH and you PNN are not so much acquainted with the squatter perhaps have NGW speak with him about his plans and the Musquetaires decision. (perhaps have NGW rehearse before hand what he must say to the squatter if he is that nice)
3. Keep a cordial and friendly tone at all time, This isn't a contradiction to HAchnasat Orchim, its simply setting boundaries before the situation gets out of control.
4. If none of the above seem to be working out too well, perhaps start doing your own research, find him a place and the squatter will be out!!