Today, class, we're going to be exploring not one, but two, new, useful concepts that have arisen from the innermost workings of the PNN Laboratory: The Term-Switch and the TDH Frequency.
It is my hope that these discoveries will serve to clarify that most confusing of relationships, that between the shadchan and the victim...oops, I mean the individual to be redt.
The term-switch is fairly self-explanatory. Observe the following exchange:
"So...is she pretty?"
"Yes, she is VERY cute!"
Now, prior to reading this post, you might have thought to yourself, "Wow! Not only is she cute, she's 'VERY cute'! Score!" However, this shadchan was employing "The Term-Switch" perfectly. This is quite an advanced shadchan tactic, so don't feel bad if you missed it. You'll notice that instead of answering whether or not the girl is pretty, she has answered with a completely different phrase, "cute". It's irrelevant that she answered "yes" as she subsequently felt the need to modify this answer with an entirely different word. This is an excellent sign that the girl might not fit the standard description of "pretty". (It's a topic for another post, but cute is a tricky word in that it can describe both appearance and personality.)
"So, is he in good shape?"
"Oh, yes, he's very tall."
That's right, you caught it, Term-Switch! He may be very tall, but it's a pretty good bet that he likes his donuts.
The second concept is a slightly more difficult one to explain in the written medium, but I'm going to give it a shot. It was discovered by my wonderful apartment-mate, Tall-Dark-and-Handsome (TDH) and is thus named the TDH Frequency.
You will notice, that a tremendous amount of information is conveyed by the way we say things, sometimes as much as is conveyed by the words we use. TDH pointed out that it was often possible to determine the honesty of a shadchan's comments by the frequency of her voice. At first I didn't quite believe him, but experience has proven it to be true.
When a shadchan is describing a pretty girl as pretty, the frequency of her voice lowers and she says the words more slowly. "She's very pretty" (Deep voice). However, when a shadchan is describing a less-pretty girl as pretty, she generally adopts a higher-pitched voice and speaks more quickly. "She's pretty." (High voice).
Try it yourself. Pretend that you're trying to set up someone with a friend of yours, and he asks you whether they're pretty. Now, answer that question out loud regarding Hillary Clinton and then Charlize Theron and hear the difference in your voice. Did you catch that?
Now that you know about the Term-Switch and the TDH Frequency, you are a more knowledgeable consumer/dater and will now have an improved relationship and more accurate communication with your local shadchan. Go forth and put your new awareness to work!