If you were deciding whether or not to date someone, and you were given one of the following two choices, would you rather...
1) See a picture of them looking their very best...the right angle, the right lighting, the right hair and makeup...no other picture has ever made them look so good.
2) See a picture of them looking their very worst...we've all experienced that un-photogenic moment, bad lighting, bad angle, mid-chew...no other picture has ever made them look so bad.
Which would it be?
Option 1. I think it is beneficial to see the best of a person before you go out with them, because you are bound to discover their worst later on.
ReplyDeleteI'd take #1. Some people are just not photogenic and may look downright ugly despite the fact that in real life they are nothing like that. Even in someone's best photo, they may look nothing like that in RL. At least I'm not judging a book by its cover and instead giving that someone a real chance by getting to know who they are instead of basing it on their appearance. Meaning, while an ugly pic will turn me away, a better pic might reel me in, even if they don't actually look like that in RL.
ReplyDeleteB"H
ReplyDeleteMediator Seeks Jewess for a Jew
I seek a mate for my friend. She should be religious, wanting to take her man to greater spiritual heights as both scale up their commitments to Torah and mitzvot. I play the role of "shadchan" (mediator) at no charge. If I feel it worthy I'll put both in contact. My friend knows nothing of this.
Her minimum requirements: She's a proud Jew; Trusts G-d and believes in divine providence; Rejects the compromise in the "conservative" or "reform" spin; Lights Shabbos candles; Younger than he is; Healthy; Health-minded; Fit and willing to relocate.
My friend runs a successful business in Northeast suburbia. He's 43, 5' 9"; Clean-shaven; Never married; American-bred. Visited Israel, but speaks only English. Exercises, is politically conservative, has common sense. He's friendly, upright, gentlemanly and won't waste time. Has will-power. Does not overeat. He became attuned to orthodox spirituality several years ago. He admires Chabad and its ideology. He dons tefillin daily and attends Torah lectures.
Are you, or do you know, such a lady? Tell me about her. Email me at torahpsychology@gmail.com. Please edit your letter a few times before you finally send it. Be honest.
I would want neither. I have no desire to see a photo before a date. I am interested in someone's personality, and a photo does not give any sort of gauge as to that in any way.
ReplyDeleteAs Rabbi Yisroel Reisman said, "You ask for a photo . . . after the first date. Take a picture when you are on the date."
I'd want to see number two since it can only go up from there! AND I'd want to see number one since if I only see number two I'll just have a bad initial impression of the person.
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your question,
ReplyDeletesee here:
http://hezbos.blogspot.com/2013/01/first-criterion-of-jewish-date.html
I would definitely say #1. No one should ever see someone looking their worst before going out with them. It's not a nice thing for a prospective partner to always have that picture in their mind. Definitely put a great pic. That way, even on the days they don't look good, the handsome/beautiful one will be the pic the partner remembers.
ReplyDeleteAlso- I love your writing, and agree with much of it! Thanks for your forum ~Aliza